hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
