I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
