I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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