she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
