you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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