Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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