Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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