is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
