I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
