i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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