it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
