Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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