they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
