lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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