Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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