We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
