he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
