How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
