then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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