My room smells like vodka and shame
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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