Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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