You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
