would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
