Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
