When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
