You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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