I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
