I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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