Whod you bang
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
