So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
