Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I love having hate sex.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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