dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
