Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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