you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
