I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize