just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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