you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
