my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
