i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
