U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Congratulations! We have a period
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