i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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