I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
