new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
