What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
