You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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