How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
