I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
