Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
