On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
