Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
