Having a random hookup so left but love u
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
