Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
This baby is an asshole
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
