I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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