glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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