therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
