I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
