i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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