So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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