you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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