dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
