Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
