This is not my ceiling
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Houston, we have a squirter
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
