Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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