Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
