youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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