two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
