Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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