We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
