I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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