As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
