well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
